Married!

Gretchen's Vows

Do you know where I am right now? I am fully present, right here, net to a GIANT duck. In Brockton. Getting married to you. For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. I am choosing to tether my bliss to yours because, for some crazy reason, I love you with all my heart.

Like me, I know you have choices. You have control over what happens in your life. To make sure you choose me – choose us – I vow to:

• Pat you when you need it (and sometimes even when you just want it).
• Always have macaroni and cheese in the cupboard and drinks in the fridge.
• Tell you what I need to feel safe and loved.
• And go to social events with you, even if I'm exhausted or afraid. 

I PROMISE to be faithful, to be honest, and to continually err on the side of life (not work).

You know I believe that marriage is not happily ever after. Instead it is a commitment to grow together on our respective life journeys. And I know – I know – that in between the NCIS reruns and trips to Target, you and I will grow while experiencing moments of pure joy, deep passion, angry struggle, and, of course, rich laughter. Oh Jeff Cutler, I am so glad to be on this journey with you.

"Fulfillment" by Langston Hughes

Gretchen's mom read the poem "Fulfillment" by Langston Hughes during the ceremony. Enamored of the words and the sentiment, this is the only poem Gretchen has ever memorized.

The earth-meaning
Like the sky-meaning
Was fulfilled.

We got up
And went to the river,
Touched silver water,
Laughed and bathed
In the sunshine.

Day
Became a bright ball of light
For us to play with,
Sunset
A yellow curtain,
Night
A velvet screen.

The moon,
Like an old grandmother,
Blessed us with a kiss
And sleep
Took us both in
Laughing.

"Finish each day..." by Ralph Waldo Emerson

After some squabbling over whether it was appropriate for Jeff to pen his own exegesis on love to be read at the wedding (Gretchen won that fight), Jeff spent some time considering the sentiment he wanted reflected in a short reading during the ceremony. Of the four he picked, each focused on living every day as if it were a new day, with the goal of living a life that is brilliantly exhausting. This is the one he eventually chose. 

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." 

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Curious about the other readings he considered?

How many slams does a screen door slam, by Shel Silverstein

Life should not be a journey..., by Hunter S. Thompson

Jeff's Vows - Wedding Day August 17, 2013

Here are the vows Jeff spoke during the wedding ceremony today...

Gretchen. 

Vows remind me of knights in armor and mediaeval settings. They remind me of heartfelt proclamations shared before a quest...or a journey. 

Though I didn’t bring a horse or a sword today, the words I share carry a similar weight as those spoken centuries ago between knights and maidens. 

I vow to enjoy our journey together and to bring you happiness in all the ways I know how. 

I vow not to change, except to be more attentive to you every day.
and I vow that we’ll never be homeless, because wherever we are together, that’s our home. 

That’s my simple proclamation to you Gretchen. And this is our quest.