Thursday, October 10, 2013

Save the cats!

Picture shamelessly lifted from
Gretchen neither threw her bouquet nor threw a cat at the wedding earlier this year.
If you think you would enjoy seeing brides throwing cats in lieu of bouquets, visit this website,

Friday, August 30, 2013

Getting Fatter (or Day One in Sonoma)

We were in Sonoma Valley - the heart of California Wine Country - for two days. On our first full day we drank:

  • 61 ounces of beer (15, 3 oz. samples at Russian River Brewing Company in Santa Rosa plus a pint over dinner) - that's the equivalent of 5 bottles
  • 70 ounces of wine (35, 2 oz. samples at Sterling, Benziger, Mayo, and Ty Caton Vineyards) - that's the equivalent of 14 glasses of wine or nearly 3 bottles.
It should be no wonder at all that, on our first full day in Sonoma we also ate (a) an entire pizza, (b) two mini loaves of bread, (c) two bowls of pasta, and (d) half a chicken.

We are grateful that we are only in Sonoma for another half day. If we had to be here longer it is uncertain if we'd fit into our airplane seats for the trip home with all this eating and drinking.

Sunday, August 18, 2013


Gretchen's Vows

Do you know where I am right now? I am fully present, right here, net to a GIANT duck. In Brockton. Getting married to you. For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. I am choosing to tether my bliss to yours because, for some crazy reason, I love you with all my heart.

Like me, I know you have choices. You have control over what happens in your life. To make sure you choose me – choose us – I vow to:
  • Pat you when you need it (and sometimes even when you just want it).
  • Always have macaroni and cheese in the cupboard and drinks in the fridge.
  • Tell you what I need to feel safe and loved.
  • And go to social events with you, even if I'm exhausted or afraid. 

I PROMISE to be faithful, to be honest, and to continually err on the side of life (not work).

You know I believe that marriage is not happily ever after. Instead it is a commitment to grow together on our respective life journeys. And I know – I know – that in between the NCIS reruns and trips to Target, you and I will grow while experiencing moments of pure joy, deep passion, angry struggle, and, of course, rich laughter. Oh Jeff Cutler, I am so glad to be on this journey with you.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

"Fulfillment" by Langston Hughes

Gretchen's mom read the poem "Fulfillment" by Langston Hughes during the ceremony. Enamored of the words and the sentiment, this is the only poem Gretchen has ever memorized.

The earth-meaning
Like the sky-meaning
Was fulfilled.
We got up
And went to the river,
Touched silver water,
Laughed and bathed
In the sunshine.
Became a bright ball of light
For us to play with,
A yellow curtain,
A velvet screen.
The moon,
Like an old grandmother,
Blessed us with a kiss
And sleep
Took us both in

"Finish each day..." by Ralph Waldo Emerson

After some squabbling over whether it was appropriate for Jeff to pen his own exegesis on love to be read at the wedding (Gretchen won that fight), Jeff spent some time considering the sentiment he wanted reflected in a short reading during the ceremony. Of the four he picked, each focused on living every day as if it were a new day, with the goal of living a life that is brilliantly exhausting. This is the one he eventually chose. 
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." 

Curious about the other readings he considered?

Life should not be a journey..., by Hunter S. Thompson

Jeff's Vows - Wedding Day August 17, 2013

Here are the vows Jeff spoke during the wedding ceremony today...

Vows remind me of knights in armor and mediaeval settings. They remind me of heartfelt proclamations shared before a quest...or a journey. 
Though I didn’t bring a horse or a sword today, the words I share carry a similar weight as those spoken centuries ago between knights and maidens. 
I vow to enjoy our journey together and to bring you happiness in all the ways I know how. 
I vow not to change, except to be more attentive to you every day.
and I vow that we’ll never be homeless, because wherever we are together, that’s our home. 
That’s my simple proclamation to you Gretchen. And this is our quest. 

Our wedding vendors

We are big fans of recommending people who do great work. With that said we want to share the contact info for our wedding vendors. If you need a caterer, a florist, an event venue - please consider using any of these people. They all provided great service at a reasonable price.

Fuller Craft Museum
"Brockton? You are getting married in Brockton!?" The most frequently heard question about the wedding. Yep. We got married in Brockton at the Fuller Craft Museum and were thrilled. The venue was unique, the dedicated event staff was creative and generous, and we felt like we had a special and non-traditional event in a special and non-traditional venue. As an added bonus, Gretchen's pal Nikki is close friends with the event planner on staff (herself an artist), so we were REALLY taken care of while we were there.

Cindy Laney with Catering to You
Cindy's team cooks elegant food in Brookline, and offers meticulous displays. Her service includes display accoutrement, including linens, plates, silverware, and serve ware. She keeps her margins low -which mean her office isn't fancy and she's often stretched too thin to be believable - but her food is unbelievable and the service is impeccable.

Kelley Sousa with Alchemy Flowers and Gardens
Recommended by a pal in Hingham, Kelley Sousa really understood what we were trying to the decor for the event. When I explained my vision to everyone else, I imagined blank stares and David Tutera's voice saying, "Chalkboards? Gramma's old tea kettles? Bird cages? This thing is a mess!" But not with Kelley. Kelley got it. I recommend her without reservation.

Kristin Jordan Photography
Recommended by Ben and Katie Cutler, Kristin Jordan expressed the most enthusiasm about photographing our wedding. Her enthusiasm, combined with her skills, made her a great choice for us. She encouraged creative thinking about our engagement and formal wedding shots, and delivered our products on time.

Baked Things
Baked in North Scituate provided nine different flavors of cupcakes for the events. After a cupcake tasting extravaganza that took us as far away as Dover, we ended up with a shop right in our own backyard. And, in the spirit of everything working out in the end, we learned that the shop manager is besties with our caterer!

Design and Printing
We are uncertain how anyone planned a DIY wedding before Pinterest and Etsy came along. Were it not for Etsy we would likely never have found our designer/printer, Irene and Blake with Sparkvites. Their spirited and eclectic designs appealed to Gretchen and Jeff, and they were more than happy to make our vision work.

Gretchen's Hair
Deja Vu Salon in Hingham, (781) 749-9769
Sarah Curtin, Gretchen's hair stylist for more than five years, is relaxed, encouraging, and really enjoys doing updos (who knew?). Special thanks to neighbor Angie for helping with the creative vision.

Gretchen's Nails
Nail Flair in Hingham, (781) 749-5800
Rick and his team, over the course of two days, prepared not only Gretchen's nails, but those of all the women participating in the wedding.

Gretchen's Make-Up
It was the amateur hour in the make-up chair. But not really. Professional writer and nearly professional lover of all things product related, gal pal Meg Tripp did make-up as her wedding gift to us. Thank you!

Have a question about who did what when? Please drop Gretchen a note and she'll answer as quickly as she can. Email is your best bet, @

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Wedding FAQs (or everything you ever wanted to know about Gretchen and Jeff's wedding)

Yay! You are thinking about coming to our wedding on August 17th! But maybe you have some questions before you say yes?

Here are the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about our nuptials.

1. Brockton? Who decides to get married in Brockton?
2. How do I get to the ceremony?
3. How long should I plan to actually get to the Fuller Craft Museum?
4. What's the dress code?
5. What time does the ceremony start?
6. Will the ceremony be long?
7. Are kids allowed?
8. Who can I bring with me?
9. What if I don't want to cart your gift all the way to Brockton?
10. What's on the menu?
11. Will the reception be open bar?
12. What time does the wedding end?
13. Where is the afterparty?
14. What is the social media plan for the wedding?
15. What's the hashtag for the wedding?

1. Brockton? Who decides to get married in Brockton?
The Fuller Craft Museum in Brockton, near the Stoughton line, offered everything we were looking for in a venue - interesting environment, easy to get to, plenty of parking (and bathrooms) on site, and the option for an indoor event JUST IN CASE the weather (knock on wood) is bad.

As a bonus our guests get to explore the museum during the event, and we get the privilege of having their facility event planner help with the wedding.

2. How do I get to the ceremony?
The Fuller Craft Museum is located at 455 Oak Street in Brockton, MA.

Type this into your GPS to get directions from your home/hotel. For our part, we'll be heading to the fiesta from our home by way of Rte 93 S to Rte 24 S. We'll get off at exit 18B, and take a right after the shopping plaza to get onto Oak Street. If you pass the the Panera you've missed the turn.

If traffic is horrible, then we'll likely go back roads (e.g. Rte 37 or 123).

If you are staying at the wedding hotel, the concierge can give you directions. We're good like that.

3. How long should I plan to get actually get to the Fuller Craft Museum?
That depends entirely on where you are coming from! We are budgeting 45 minutes each way from Hingham.

4. What is the dress code?
Gretchen is wearing a formalish dress, Jeff is not wearing a tie or jacket. That's code for nearly everything goes.

Need more direction? Our theme is vintage family picnic. Imagine a family reunion at Gramma's house (and Gramma lives in a craft museum) in 1959 or 1966. Way more family members have shown up than we expected, so we've had to comb through the cupboards to make it work. That's the energy we're going for - fun, casual, family-oriented, innocent.

Do you prefer instructions in the negative? Please don't dress like you are going out for wings and beer, and black tie will be excessive (unless you are George Cutler, and then black tie is 100% appropriate.)

5. What time does the ceremony start?
Promptly at 4:00 PM. We're both sticklers for things starting on time.

6. Will the ceremony be long?
We're planning a 30-minute ceremony. Does that feel too long for you? No worries, we'll have activities to keep you entertained during the ceremony.

7. Are kids allowed?
Nope. Gretchen is devoted to her nieces and nephews, and wouldn't dream of having a wedding without them. As a result, we've invited our twelve nieces and nephews. But that's where it ends.

8. Who can I bring with me?
We researched invite etiquette extensively to make sure we were being clear in our invites. The people specifically named on your invite can come. That's it. Sorry, but space is tight. We look forward to meeting your sweetheart/best friend/favorite son at another event.

9. What if I don't want to cart your gift all the way to Brockton?
Awww...thanks for thinking of us! We will have a gift table at the wedding, along with a card baskety thing. And Gretchen's family is on deck to cart gifts back to the house on Sunday morning. With that said, if YOU don't want to bother carting a gift to Brockton, feel free to drop it off at the house ahead of time, or ship it to us and the return address on your RSVP card.

10. What's on the menu?
We'll host a cocktail hour and then a buffet-style dinner. That's all we're saying.

11. Will the reception be open bar?
Yup. That's how we roll.

But open bar is not an excuse for bad behavior or poor choices. If you are driving, please be sure to eat enough, drink plenty of water, and try not to overindulge. If you DO overindulge, we will make sure the facility is prepared to call a cab to get you safely to your bed.

12. What time does the wedding end?
Promptly at 9:00. Seriously.

13. Where's the after party?
Uhm....there is no after party. At least not one that we're organizing. That's NOT how we roll. We plan to be in bed by 9:45 PM. Seriously.

14. What's the social media plan for the wedding?
We're social people. But space and money make it impossible for us to invite everyone we know through our social networks. So, we are happy for you to post pictures, videos, and commentary on the Interwebs so more people can feel like they are there. We aren't concerned with our "privacy."

If you do, please follow these rules:
  1. We don't want pictures of the kids posted on any social media sites. That's just good common sense. 
  2. A handful of guests have expressed concerns about online privacy. So, if you plan to tag a photo, please make sure you have the person's permission before naming them online. 

15. What's the hashtag for the wedding?

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

RSVP Online

Invites are starting to trickle out for the big event on August 17th.

If you want to RSVP online, you can do so here:

And yes, yes we know! If you are responding online, you aren't really saving a stamp, because the response cards were all pre-stamped.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

This is happening!

So the invitations are officially out the door to our guests who are traveling from far away. This is really happening! We're getting married!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

How does Gretchen and Jeff's registry work?

You can browse everything Gretchen and Jeff
might like from a variety of stores on the Internet at
Over the five years we have lived together we have negotiated a shared style that is thoughtful, eclectic, rustic, and quirky.

Given this we knew we couldn't find just ONE store that captured our style. So our wedding registry is designed to share with you items we like from around the Internet.

We use a service called This lets us add things from stores across the Internet to our registry. Stores ranging from Crate and Barrel to Napa Style to Target to Jackson and Perkins. You can view everything we would like at

If our online registry is too confusing, please use this guide:

There are many unique items you can find on our registry - Eiffel Tower bookends, hurricane lanterns made from recycled wine bottles, etc. We invite you to peek at the registry online - even if you don't buy online - to get a sense of our negotiated style. 

Or do nothing at all. Please remember, we both love presents, but this isn't why we're having a wedding. We're having a wedding to formalize our commitment to each other, and to share with you our excitement about living the rest of our lives together.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

What was your favorite part of wedding planning?

As of this morning we FINALLY have the big things done for our August wedding day:
Venue - Check
Caterer - Check
Florist - Check
Musicians/DJ - Check
Officiant - Check
Cake - Check
Photographer - Check
Dress - Check
Invites - Check

Now we are moving onto the little details. Things like finding embellishments to to package the invitations together, deciding aisle runner or no aisle runner, and selecting music for the ceremony.

There is no David Tutera on hand to help us. Thankfully Gretchen relishes considering the small details (while Jeff wants little to do with any of it).

Bickering over some of the minute decisions made us wonder - what were your favorite parts of planning your wedding? (Or planning a child's or friend's wedding?) What parts gave you the heebie jeebies?

Saturday, March 23, 2013

It doesn't get any better than this


If you haven't seen The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel yet you might not want to read any further. 

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blog post....

We were watching The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel last night. Towards the end of the film an unhappy marriage ends with the wife leaving her husband of nearly 40 years with this sentiment, "We both deserve better than this."

Vaguely panicked by the melancholy statement, Gretchen turned to Jeff and said, "I don't want either of us to ever be in the position of saying 'I deserve better than this.'"

Jeff replied, "Don't worry, because we don't deserve any better than this."

As you might expect, this was followed with some good-natured and slightly hostile pinching.

Nursing his bruises, Jeff clarified, "What I MEANT was it can't possibly get any better than this, than us, together."

Jeff will be 48 and Gretchen will be 43 when they get married on August 17th. It is possible their marriage could last 40 years. They're both counting on the fact that their lives together will certainly get better, and minimally won't get any worse.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


Gretchen has surprised herself by loving to talk about the wedding. Jeff, not surprisingly, can handle ten minutes of discussion before allowing his boredom (or anxiety) to completely distract him.

Do you love to talk wedding? Pop over to Gretchen's wedding Pinterest board to see some of the ideas being floated around.  Her username is Clownface3.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Saving the date and planning ahead

We were engaged to be married on 12/12/12. Hooray!

And now we're planning a wedding for 8/17/2013, just two days shy of the anniversary of our first date, seven years ago.

If you have received a save the date card from us, we hope you can come to the party. (And if you haven't, I'm sorry - our budget allows only so many people to join us on the 17th. We have zillions of people we want to celebrate with, so we're planning a handful of other events. Stay tuned!)

So back to those of you who received a save the date card. We DO hope you can join us on the South Shore of Boston for our wedding.

Overnight accommodations 

If you need a place to stay for the weekend please consider staying at the Holiday Inn in Rockland. They have been kind enough to set aside a block of rooms for us at a special rate. Their number is 781-871-0545. Make the reservation BEFORE April 16th and use the code KCW to get the special rates.

(If you don't want to stay at the Holiday Inn in Rockland, no worries. we won't lose anything if all the rooms aren't used.)


There are many schools of thought on registries - ranging from "They make you look greedy," to "They are really helpful." We've decided to share our registry here in the spirit of being helpful.

We've created an online registry using the tool This is a cool website that lets you put items from around the Internet on your registry - so you aren't limited to items available in one or two stores. This also aggregates registries from some of the biggies (e.g. Crate and Barrel, Target, etc.) into one place. (We ARE registered at Crate and Barrel, William and Sonoma and Pottery Barn.)

So, hop online to look at our registry. If you want to buy us a gift, (a) thank you, and (b) consider the online list as a guide to our style, rather than a mandate. We both love to shop and appreciate that you might want to go to a real store to have some fun thinking about what gift would appropriately demonstrate your feelings our wedding and future life together.

More details on the wedding, showers, TweetUps, and bachelor parties are coming soon!