Monday, December 8, 2008

Jeff likes eggs and other things you might have missed.

Gretchen is making me do this. Don't ask me why the list has to have 16 things. Just bear with me. Here they are...16 things about me. Most of which will probably be lies just to get a reaction from readers. But some will be true.

16. My license says that I'm six-feet tall. OK. It doesn't say that anymore because I had pangs of conscience and changed it. But at one time I was officially six-feet tall. You see, while standing at the counter at the Registry of Motor Vehicles I overheard the enormous guy next to me say he was five-feet-ten-inches tall. I knew that I was actually 5'10" and I was easily half a foot shorter than him. So I decided - as I'm wont to do - to test the intelligence of the Registry folks. REGISTRY INTELLIGENCE FAIL. When I said I was six-feet, the woman didn't blink. She typed it in and I immediately got taller. Better than Bobby Brady, huh?

15. I believe that someday I'll be called to Hollywood to star in a movie. Don't know how. Don't know why. Just know it.

14. In a guise developed to snag chicks, I had business cards made up that had on them my name, the words The Corporation, and my dorm-room phone number. These were purchased during the Citibank Years - a time when I used plastic to buy everything from sneakers to snacks. They were also used a grand total of once. The cards worked miracles and my roommate and I ended up walking home from a local bar with two hotties. I don't know what he ended up doing, but again the conscience thing got in the way and I told her goodnight.

13. I'm paranoid that I might be autistic and have ADD...and that I'll be misdiagnosed as being just a normal teenager. Please shuffle these parts as you see fit. They work every which way.

12. My feet have gotten larger as I've gotten older. This might not be surprising, but they're supposed to slow down. In the last ten years I've gained a whole size. That's either the real deal OR shoe manufacturers have changed their sizing methods.

11. I cry during West Wing and Scrubs and even during some other television entertainment.

10. Remembering how long I should cook soft-boiled eggs still escapes me. Luckily I don't mind snacking on hard-boiled eggs and the incidence of raw eggs has dropped with practice.

9. Moving to a warmer climate is definitely in my thoughts when it remains 12 degrees out - like it is right now!

8. I once had my finger bitten off by a turtle. It grew back.

7. Wherever I travel, I adopt the local accent. It makes me feel closer to the natives. It's especially difficult in South Boston, Scotland and Jersey.

6. I get really annoyed at shows like CSI and NCIS that are based on real science but really rush results. Conversely, I allow Numb3rs to fly fast and loose with math and science. My prerogative, I guess.

5. My proudest moment was when I saved a Right Whale from swimming into the Cape Cod Canal.

4. My main goals for 2009 are to ride a century and to find an agent for my novel.

3. I'm a little worried that I'm losing my hearing.

2. I'm convinced that I'll either win the lottery or not win it. That way there's no disappointment.

1. I know that I'll push for a MUCH shorter list the next time we get Facebooked into doing something like this.

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